I was jogging in my parents neighborhood earlier and saw a dead cicada on the ground so I picked it up and put it in my basketball shorts pocket because my parents have chickens and they go nuts for those things so I figured why not bring em home a treat. Except I looked up and noticed that an older neighbor was watching me the whole time and figured they probably thought I was all kinds of weird for walking down the road, stopping to pick up a dead insect and put it in my pocket so I pulled a “Trayvon” and ran home, then left to go back out and find him to jump him, wrestle him to the ground and repeatedly bash his head against the sidewalk MMA style as he screamed for help.
Good thing I didn’t get shot this time, but if I had, there’d be marches and protests to bring that neighbor to justice, right?
*At least half of this story is true.
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