I need all of Dysons products or my life is meaningless

My assistant has been thumbs-downing my requirement to own everything Dyson makes simply on account of stupid arguments like “I dont NEED it” or “I can’t even come close to affording” them. Um, ya, okay. Maybe that works for denying me a budget for a $1,600 Airblade hand dryer in every bathroom, because the germs left on everyones hands cant be seen and thus the menace goes unchallenged – but what about THIS? What about when someone spills fire all over the floor?? The fkk am I supposed to do THEN?

Coming soon to my new house: Everything that Dyson makes.