I’ve always been interested in how the brain works, as well as behavioral algorithms that explain human and animal behavior and recently gave these root steps to a friend to help direct them out of an emotional rut. Hopefully they can be of use to you as well…
These are the groundwork steps to being happy and as such they only deal with requirements within ones brain to achieve the possibility for happiness. after these 3 come the issues of the physical world and whatever pitfalls it comes with like health, physical pain, imprisonment, Justin Bieber canceling a concert because he has a cold, etc. But first things first. and the first thing about happiness is internal.
The 3 steps are simple: Stop worrying. Have a plan. and compartmentalize.
Doing these do not MAKE you happy – they just give you the groundwork for the possibility for you to make yourself happy. Here’s how to implement them.
1) STOP WORRYING…
You know the phrase “don’t worry, be happy”?…Do that…
You cant do that if you dont pinpoint what it is youre worrying about. Never allow yourself to be in a bad mood “for no reason”. whats the reason? identify it always. When reasons are identified, they can be tackled, corrected, managed, accepted or otherwise dealt with. When reasons are mysterious to you, you have no hope.
Feeling anxious and panicky without knowing exactly why is like being in a room full of snakes and scorpions and its pitch black and youre just having a shit time while they bite and sting you, completely sneaking up on you. If you can light a torch to find your way in the room, then some of them still might get you here and there but you’ll feel a lot better cuz you can at least TRY to Indiana-Jones your way outta there and avoid or stomp on whats possible.
So identify what it is that is causing you to worry. Then ask yourself what you can do about it.
-If its nothing, then why are you worrying? its going to happen whether you stress and worry about it or not.
-If you CAN do something about it – then why are you worrying instead of getting off your ass and doing it?
Thats where having a plan comes in.
2) HAVE A PLAN.
Dont just be a leaf in a stream. be the captain of your ship and fkkn steer it where you want to go. that requires strategy.
So always plan. be thoughtful and think logically about how to achieve goals and neutralize problems instead of aimlessly worry about them.
3) COMPARTMENTALIZE.
Psychologically speaking, compartmentalization is a defense mechanism to allow streamlined thought. Not thinking on Saturday about homework due Monday is compartmentalization. Monday is going to come… Don’t just ignore it – have a plan for it. But if it doesn’t have to, then don’t let it ruin your Saturday.
I didnt come up with this concept but the Titanic is an excellent analogy. You’ve seen the movie, right? you saw how the flood walls didnt go all the way up to the ceiling and thats why it sank?
Your flood walls MUST go to the ceiling… so when you hit an iceburg, water should only fill up 1 compartment. if the water leaks into your others then youre doomed.
Mondays homework. The death of a loved one. or a job loss. or a relationship breakup. deal with those problems and heartbreaks on their own. do not let the hurt wash over into other aspects of your life.
Follow those 3 steps and you can be happy.
Good luck!
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