A new criticism of me that feels strange and unjustified but warrants documentation in classic “am I really the a-hole here?” fashion: I’m “abusive” because I say mean things to people who have been asked to leave me alone but won’t stop pestering me.
Shockingly – I’ll confess – I can often be abrasive (when he other party necessitates abrasion), and even though we’re rarely the best assessors of our own behavior – I know I’m not abusive to anyone.
Devils-advocating myself, I ask: how do I know? Well. Let’s define abuse, first. I would say that abuse is something inflicted on you by someone on the inside of your life in some kind of dynamic that you can’t easily escape. Someone surprise-attacking you or mistreatment by your jailer – like an owner to their dog or a parent to their child – places where one side is helpless and one is powerful and then uses that power to gratuitously harass, assault, or injure. Right?
So these descriptions don’t apply to adults who choose to annoy other adults. I might say some nasty things, but like a good Jedi (post-Clone Wars, anyway), I use my tongue-saber “in defense. Never attack”.
I’ve never interrupted someone or invaded their space with anything nasty to say but when I’m under stress that you’ve helped contribute to and I have to unfriend and/or fire you unless you conform to some simple behavioral tasks such as not being a jerk, trying to pick fights while I’m trying to get work done or generally be a nuisance during busy end-of-the-year deadline times then yes – it’s possible you could goad me into telling you what a world class idiot you are being at that time and how it may reflect poorly on you as a person or your worth as a living creature.
Here’s a tip: Don’t storm my castle if you don’t want boiling oil poured on you. Get out of it when you’re not welcome and you won’t have to be forced out. It’s not that hard of a concept to understand even if you are dumb and broken enough to not already have acquired the knowledge of those pretty basic life-rules.
Now go cut yourself. Because you’re terrible.
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