I got this comment on my Facebook wall yesterday and it took me that long to digest the sheer stupidity of it:
Can I ask a STUPID question? are you gay or straight?
because it does not matter either wayt to me 🙂
just wondering
First, I always like the “can i ask you a question?” question since, duh – they just did. Like how people say “are you gonna eat that?” while reaching for the thing they’re asking about or how my uncle Ted used to ask if he could touch a womans breast in mid-fondle. “Can i ask a STUPID question?” is even worse. but “can I ask you a STUPID question?” followed immediately by the stupid question is more than just stupid. its… whatever stupid x2 is (im too stupid to know offhand).
Then there’s the whole concept of publicly asking whether someone sucks c#ck or not. It’s like “hey, your profile doesn’t say you’re gay and you don’t have any pictures kissing dudes or attending Clay Aiken concerts and your status updates never mention getting boned in the ass or anything, buuuuut… i still get the sneaking suspicion that you’re a fag. im going to ask – not that it matters – but just cuz i want to know if this feeling about you having sex with dudes is correct. not that it matters.” and naturally this wouldn’t be in a private message, cuz who you have sex with isn’t private or anything, especially if its not public knowledge. doy.
Look, i get it.. i get the “i wonder if he’s a homosexual” thing. I’m energetic, maintain appearance, and play a kind of PeeWee Hermen-esque child version of myself in my richardland videos. It can be confusing at first glance and unless you take the time to see what is going on, it all smells a bit of flamie-mcQueer Sauce. but if you REALLY want to know and REALLY can’t be bothered with scratching the surface of investigating my heterosexuality (not like i dont have a website and profile on every social networking site ever that comments on relationships, exploits or at very least attraction to females), then dude. show some tact.
This was the comment i responded with:
Can I ask a STUPID question? im going to go ahead and ask it before you say yes or no because i dont really give a crap about the answer. i just said that so i feel better about asking, cuz its like i asked your permission even though i really didnt.
are you a whore or not? because it does not matter either way to me 🙂 well, it matters enough to ask on your public comments, but im not gonna judge your prostituting either direction. im just wondering if you fuck for money.
See girls (and its always a girl)? thats what you sound like. you’re saying “hey, you give off an appearance that makes me think this thing about your sex life. you dont publicly say it, so im just gonna publicly ask”. Again, its not the curiosity I’m mocking. that’s normal, human, acceptable, etc. just don’t try to solve your curiosity in a such a retarded manner or you open the doors to ridicule.
UPDATE: Naturally, she handled it badly, got offended, wrote a big long rant about how I “could have just deleted the comment or answered that its personal”, blah blah blah. except its NOT personal. and i left the comment there because it reflects badly on her, not me. but she deleted the comment off my page. I don’t understand why.. why post it publicly if you’re just going to chicken out and get rid of it?
UPDATE 2: I’ve been unfriended and unfollowed on twitter… Today I was hated on for being straight. #No Hate
UPDATE 3: here comes the hate on Twitter…
I haven’t had someone display this level of un-selfaware hypocrisy in awhile. It’s fascinating. She thinks there’s nothing wrong with asking ME about who I bang, but is outrageously outraged that I do the same to her. the reason, presumably is that she finds the thought that someone would look at her and suspect she receives money for intercourse offensive even though I specified that I do not find it offensive myself (thus making it okay for me to ask). So does it occur to her that maybe someone else might find it just as offensive, regardless of her own opinion on the subject, that she would ask them if they have anal sex with men? evidently not. because i “is [sic] just a angry [sic], think he is somebody, ASSHOLE!”. and this is not another 14 year old emo-whore online, mind you. this woman is 40 years old… ya…
It’s early in the year so there is still a chance to be beaten, but so far this c#nt is in the running for the “most unintentionally ironic statement of the year” award in saying “Next time u need 2 think before u type back 2 me…”
UPDATE 4: She’s gone back to multiple tweeting, lying about me. she’s claiming i got my “friends” to “spam” her (thats what she calls 2 people on twitter responding to my tweets about this saga) and falsly claiming that my facebook profile was changed after all this to reflect that im “interested in women”. sorry whore, but ive never changed that part of my profile. not now, not recently, not ever. you fail.
Hah! Thanks for the laugh, Richard. I think you’re funny. You’re also right. btw, I found you on Josh Singer’s page (fb). You were giving him hell for something he’d said, which I’m sure he deserved. I love the guy like a brother, but he sure is a character. You are too, of course. Most interesting people are also complex and opinionated. Survey SAYS!
Oh geez!
Can I post a comment? No…? Ok I will.
I’m so glad there are people fighting for bi-rights (whatever the hell those are..)! That girl is strong. And she is also fighting for straight rights! Because we all know how oppressed straights are. Always gettin’ discriminated :(!
funny blog!