There’s a brand new apple on the market, available in select locations only. It’s called the Cosmic Crisp and it’s been in development for a few decades and just being released to the public now. It’s grown in Washington state and is a combination of the Honeycrisp apple and the Enterprise apple. The result is an expensive but “omg, this is what apples should have always been” birthing of engineered fruit perfection.
Look
On the outside, it just looks like any other apple. The “cosmic” part of the name is because of the white speckles on its skin that resemble stars in space, but when I looked for these at the store, I ran to a different variety of apple thinking they were the Cosmic Crisp because they had more pronounced starry night speckles on the skin. So the space theme might have been not-the-best as a differentiator but they still look nice on the outside.
The inside of every one is a pure unblemished off-white swirl of lemon chiffon.
Feel
They are impossibly firm to where they seem unbruisable. I dropped one and it bounced off the tile floor like a billiard ball without a dent, scratch, discoloration, or mushy part left at its impact point. I almost wanted to check to make sure the kitchen tile didn’t crack from it. They are hard like a good apple should be and dense with apple-ness, lacking the mushy potato feel of garbage apples like Red Delicious. The sharp crack of each bite is incredibly satisfying as you destroy it with each bite.
Taste
The Cosmic Crisp tastes like an apple flavored apple. They’re probably high in sugar but the balance of sweetness and acidity is like if an apple pie was made into a brittle but seasoned with a little apple cider vinegar. Oh, and if you lick the inside of a bite – the sh*t tastes like an apple Jolly Rancher.
Juiciness
They have the juiciness of a shot of cider in every bite while maintaining that unparalleled crunch to the very center, which is a bigger deal than it might sound like. Your body isn’t used to crisp things also being juicy so it makes for a wonderful eating experience when that can be achieved (shout out to Babes fried chicken in Dallas Fortworth for making this same achievement with their impossibly juicy yet crispy fresh fried chikkies).
Conclusion: all other apples are Losers, now.
There’s still a place for a nice sour green granny with caramel, and honey crisps are still good 2nd best-choices – but if you’re looking for that apple taste in an actual apple that you want to bite into, all, apple style – the Cosmic Crisp is the best on the market.
Just…good luck finding one. Cuz they’re not very abundant. I called around 3 grocery stores and they had no idea what I was talking about. I finally found them at HEB in Texas this month. No supplier found for when I’m back in Los Angeles yet but there is availability info on the website linked at the beginning of this post. And yes – that is the official website of the apple because these things are specifically engineered and bred copyrighted and trademarked products. Yay science.
Now do pears, please.
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