At least that was the score tonight. I’m at my apartment in Hawaii with my mom, aunt & uncle and their son/my cousin. We got home today and my cousin Steven turned on the tv and channel surfed for awhile before settling on a few movies. First US Marshals with Tommy Lee Jones, then In the Line of Fire with Clint Eastwood, then Bram Stokers Dracula which he almost didn’t put on since he said he had seen it so many thousands of times but did anyway. Well, he left the apartment at the perfect time because it was 11PM Hawaii time and that’s when the the last repeat of the O’Reilly Factor *coughs*bestshowontv*coughs* has its last repeat of that days edition on, so I changed the channel to it.
Well, cuzin Steevers comes back in and watches for a little bit before deciding that this is boring and changes the channel – with the remote that I failed to notice him steal from next to my computer. What in tha waaaa? I of course said aw heeeeelllz no – we be watchin O’Reilly, motherfucker (I think I may have used slightly different terms. Idk). He said we’re watching Dracula. I contended that O’Reilly can be just as violent and might even suck some blood – you just never know, but he wasn’t buying it. See, I had to handle it carefully, cuz cousin Steven gets babied in ways I cant even fathom – and I’m the baby of ALL the cousins AND the only only-child.
A few nights ago here he stormed out of the room, slamming doors and leaving the apartment at night because I asked him why he thought we shouldn’t have dropped the A-bomb on Japan after Pearl Harbor… Literally that’s what I happened. I didn’t say “hm. thats an interesting hippie feel-good nonsense thing to feel, but why would you object to such a life saving action as us ending World War 2 when the alternative would have been such a far greater blood bath?”. Nope. Literally asked “why do you have that position? I’m curious as to how you came to that conclusion” and then when he flipped out on a “why do I always have to explain myself!!!??” dealie, I said “seriously though… im… just curious”. And so he stomped out.
So tonight I was extra gentle even though this time he was actually being a jerk for no reason. But it didn’t work. He was making a stand here and getting mad at my suggestion that perhaps it might be time to turn over the control of the tv to someone else in the room for 47 minutes vs his 4 hours 7 minutes (nice how that math worked out hm? I know. Poetry).
So he watches his Dracula for about 8 minutes, then channel surfs. I know, what a dick, right? So he’s watching Family Guy and whatever is on Bravo and flippin around for an additional 9 minutes until getting bored with his protest and turning it off and leaving. So I get up and turn the show back on, and my mom – bless her spineless heart – asks me to turn the tv her direction and takes the remote from next to my computer and puts it in my lap, saying that its best to have there so it doesnt get changed again (cuz duh, we’re an O’Reilly family).
So the final score between the king of the undead and the king of cable news is a draw.
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