What the hell is wrong with me? In the past 3 years I have bit my lip more than in my entire life prior and I don’t know why.
What is extra perplexing about this awfulness is that I don’t even have any lips. I won’t say “literally” only because I don’t approve of using “literally” as “figuratively” but this is essentially a medically accurate statement. Like… You know how people with bad eye sight will sometimes characterize it as saying they are “legally blind”? I legally have no lips. It’s just a mouth. A hole in my face that pumps out wry wit and acerbic commentary.
And yet, here I am clipping off the rim of that face hole for some reason. It’s really frustrating cuz how is this even. happening? If there’s no flesh matter there to get in the way of the bite, how am I managing to smash my teeth down on this opening? Am I being punished for something? Is this the price I pay for inciting jealousy in the gods with my awesomeness? It’s gotta be that, right? It can’t just be that I’m a doofus who is increasingly not paying attention to simple chewing and causing these herpes sour looking gashes on my mouth rims just by decreasing mental faculties or attentiveness. right? So lame.
If you do or don’t have lips: Please… be gentle with them. Only bite them in the sexy way where its a loosely grasped tooth paper clip that suggests a pensive sexual angst or whatever. Be careful when you’re chewing and don’t draw blood. Learn from my follies. Be better. Do better.
Be the mouth I am failing to be myself.
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