Everyone knows geese are the meanest birds, but I’m proud to say I’ve never been bullied by a goose.
First of all: It’s a principalled stance to not let them push you around. So even if they were powerful creatures capable of kinda fkkin you up a little – I would advocate for fighting back against these snake headed duckwads.
Second: You can do it. You can totally best a goose in battle. You just have to believe in yourself.
Obviously don’t go picking fights with them. We want to be friends, always, and I’m against initiating violence with any creature except bugs (you have permission to mass genocide bugs who haven’t attacked you. Go right ahead with a clean conscience). But if a goose tries to bully you – you have to exert your dominance.
I go straight for that vulnerable neck which I feel like most people don’t think about cuz their hissing serpent faces attract all the attention and fear. You have to hold your ground though. Don’t run and let them think they can dictate human behavior. I’ve never understood people running away from such a fragile and toothless critter just cuz they’re mean.
I’ve heard of geese doing damage in fights with humans but I can’t imagine it. I think they might just be myths that goose media pumps out to confuse us. We already know they have a good publicist because “Mother Goose” is a staple of kindly elderly sweetness even though real geese and real mothers are nasty little jerks at least 60% of the time (not MY geese or MY mom, obviously. Geese I’ve interacted with are usually sweethearts and obviously I have the kindest best mom that was ever made – but I’m talkin bout the hellscape the rest of you losers inhabit).
I’ve never suffered damage by a goose. They only wounded me emotionally as a child. Like “WHY WONT YOU LET ME LOVE YOU!?? Now you have to die!”.
I guess that’s where most of my anger at just about everything comes from.
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