Giving thanks for underwear chips in bed

I got home tonight at 10pm, when most Los Angeles nights of drinking, sexing and doing coke in the bathroom of that one party you were only kinda invited to, are just beginning. I was a little hungry, but figured why bother eating when breakfast is just a scant 11 hours away and ignored my stomach ringing the dinner bell, cuz I’m all about the deferred gratification. I tooled around on the computer for a bit, did some situps and crunches, showered my filth off and watched Kung Fu Panda on my computer. did some more work and preparation for tomorrow and slipped into bed listening to the final show podcasts of 97.1fm’s talk shows since it was their last day on the air before turning into a music station (Adam Carolla, Danny Bonaduce, Tom Leykis all gone). I was hungry. and I thought… why wait? with Snickers unavailable though, I grabbed a bag of Doritos, took off my pants and got back into bed. I clicked on my ‘evening lights’ (green tube lights on a remote that make a T on half the perimeter of my ceiling) and watched them fade and twinkle in their set patterns. as I listened to my prerecorded commercial free talk shows. in my nice warm and comfy bed. munching away on bag of Doritos. in my underwear.
and I thought… life sure does kick ass…

I thought it so much that I didn’t wanna forget it and popped open my laptop next to my bed to blog it out right after I watched the new Office episode I got immediately distracted by.

Gratitude is one of the top 3 essentials for happiness. If you’re able to snack on a bag of tasty flavored chips in a comfortable shelter with entertainment at your finger tips, you need to be friggin thankful. that’s a big deal in history or present day worldwide standards. Its a hard concept for us to understand sometimes, but believe it or not, for 99% of history and for 60% of the world today, people don’t live lives that allow them to gorge on packaged corn based food with little electronic boxes around them that can be used to summon up voices of commentary or video of panda bears performing martial arts. Its kindov a big deal that we can.

Reminds me of the last time I had a feeling like this, last Thanksgiving weekend when I was heating up some leftovers in the microwave. I reached my hand in to readjust some of the food on the plate after it had been heated a little and my hand grazed some uberhot mashed potatoes. My first thought immediately following “god dammit thats fkkn hot!” was “god dammit thats fkkn awesome that I am lucky enough to burn my frigging hand on food leftover from a feast I can have whenever I want, heated in a box that doesnt require fire, and became a painful hazard only because I had so much of it that I piled it so high as to not allow room for a casual hand-reach”.

Perspective is important. and despite all evidence pointing to the contrary, this all took place without me being high.

Right now I’m going to wipe off the remaining neon cheese powder film still on my fingertips, take a swig of my Vitamin Water next to my bed, click off my green lights and drift off to a comfortable slumber.

So all of you: give thanks and good night.

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