Dear Google:
I know you watch and record everything I do, and I just want to make sure you know that earlier today, when I searched for “Emma Watson nudity“, I was looking for a news item where the just-turned 18 year old actress recently answered a question on the topic and not for actual images of the starlets suple unclothed image.
May the record be clear that I do not find Emma Watson attractive partially because she looks too much like Jason Mewes, but more so because much like the failed-to-become-hott Miss Duff, she still looks too much like a kid to be able to be considered sexually desirably in any way except in a Dateline sting kinda of way.
As you know, I generally find “jailbait” humor to be both awesome and entertaining, however, precisely because of that fact, I cannot afford to take the additional hits of unjustified assumptions that add to the ones I am already proud of.
Considering the pre-mentioned, I appeal to you to please wipe this possible misconception from your spy records as it clearly should not be included in the list of my wtf’s, perversions and general abnormalities you’re collecting to later decide who is forced into work camps and who rises in rank under the new Googovernment once your rule is officially established by force.
Thus, let the record be clear, that while on the rarest of occasions Miss Watson can in fact appear to be partially bangable, her constant appearance is not what I consider to be an appropriate target of arousal and I do not personally seek to catch any glimpses of her newly open-for-legal-business vajayjay, nor do I support or promote others doing so for personal or monetary gain.
Thank you for your time, and again, hail Google, 100 zero times.
Sincerely in your service
(the slavish kind. not the polite helpful kind),
-Richard*
—
*But not the REAL Richard – this is the Richard character that does the funny stuff. Cuz even though there’s nothing bad in here, I don’t want to tarnish real-Rich with this dumb bit, so make sure you compartmentalize this entirely to ME – the dopey humor Rich and not the legitDick that does business stuff. k. cool. Go team.
Leave a Reply