I just paid people $150 to brush my teeth

I made a dentist appointment for today, because as I mentioned in December, I thought I had a tiny little cavity in one of my molars. I thought that because when I brush it at just the right angle it hurts and feels like the bristles are entering and tickling my nerve endings.

During the cleaning, the girl told me I was “doing a really good job at home” since she barely was able to scrape any plaque off and my gums didn’t bleed during the flossing. I’m doing a really good job? SO not what I wanted to hear. I wanted to be a plaque ridden bloody mess. I wanted her to say “dear God, its good that you finally came to the dentist after 4 years since your last check up!”. But no. I was doing as good a job as they would do, at my house, for free.

The dentist comes and chats with me for a little. I tell him that in addition to my suspected cavity, something is wrong with some of my molars. Probably a filling that is leaking. Cuz when I eat gooey or gummie sweets, I get pinprick pains in them. So he taps around my teeth a little with his mini Captain Hook hand and nothing hurts. Then he tells me I have a small cavity where I thought I had one, except on my upper teeth.

What. the fuck? Neither of my two pains yielded real life results, but one that I’ve never felt before exists? Umm. Die?

Well, I wasn’t gonna argue with the guy with the X-rays in his hand, so I said alrighty and was processed out at the front counter.

The bill was $150.

I just paid people $150… to brush my mother effing teeth.

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