Above is my friend Crystals current main pic on Facebook. She is the one on the right making the face. It’s cute, right? I think so. A weird still from an actio- candid.
I assumed it was her purposely being goofy and evidently stepped in it by treating it as such.
I left a comment on her “wall” (that’s so gay that they call it a wall) saying I had a nightmare that I was being chased by something that looked like her main picture. I thought it was goofy but she took it as an insult. :/
And here I thought I was going easy on her… I was going to describe that “something” as a flame eyed wispy haired duck that was lunging at me trying to eat my soul, but I went the subtle route instead to avoid a possible offense. Nah, just kidding. I’m only saying that cuz I always get annoyed when my good natured overtures are received as attacks. I’m so good natured! You don’t have to think I’m funny, but I’m not a jerk.
I don’t know what Ford Models is (like the car company? guys don’t do car shows. wtf), but its still a funny comeback. I just wish it was presented in the same zinger style my initial comment was. So, for those of you taking notes at home, that means cut out the “jerk” and “wannabe model” thing. If quotes were going to be used, it also should have been “wannabe model” because otherwise you’re undermining your own point by questioning the legitimacy of your own criticism. derp.
Despite the direction I inadvertently took it, I am still pleased to know that the site I was using is in fact not Ford Models.
I am still new to Facebook though and don’t use it very often, so I’m still learning the rules. Crystal may be entirely correct, I don’t know. Only a handful of my model friends have Facebook profiles, for obvious reasons (same reason I hardly ever use it either – its harder to shamelessly self promote yourself, though that is starting to change with some of their new features and growth), so I don’t have much to compare to.
But I’m wondering – maybe Facebook is the opposite of Myspace in the regard that its not considered YOUR-space, its more of a catalog of you for your friends to use as reference points. This would explain its stalker features that notifies your friend list every time you change your relationship status, write a comment on someone elses page or have a bowel movement that contains undigested particles.
I’ll investigate this theory further in my ongoing quest to understand Facebook. In the mean time I have noted the tentative rule on pictures being: shirtless model poses bad, scary lunging forward redeye kissiefaces good.
UPDATE: I Googled “Ford Models” and, duh, they’re a modeling agency. I think I might know someone who’s worked for them actually now that I think about it. They must have a stronger presence in New York (where Crystal lives) than LA.
Their website also contains hardly any shirtless representation though, so her reference seems to be notsogreat.
It is now my quest to make a social network exclusively for shirtless self-pictures. It is far passed time that my people have been delivered to their promised land. Too long have the shirtless subdued their awesomeness in the shadows, corralled there by the judgements of the lesser. One day I shall create a sanctuary for such outcasts. A place where the shirtless may roam free, untethered by the societal constraints of abdominal cloth. We will leave in peace and harmony through acceptance of all body types (but obviously giving favor to the good ones, because lets face it: this is a Utopia, not a collection of blind dummies). We will segregate ourselves, indeed, but we will not be silenced. We will grow strong. And we will take over.
