Missouri Officially Has No Sense of Humor…

Evidently things are more awful in the Show Me state than the reports from Ferguson would have you believe as an epidemic far worse than ensuing crime and protests in response to an assault and theft assailant being fatally shot by police is spreading across the area: Knowledge of jokes is apparently dying…

Just the other day I had to hold poor St-Louis-Jimmy to the fire when he responded to my obvious joke with an obliviousness that one would expect from a german grandfather and not the strapping young buck he actually is. To recap: I posted a picture of a giant piece of chocolate cake with a couple strawberry slices on the side and my caption read that I was enjoying a “fruit plate with a little chocolate”. Jimmy then comments that it “looks more like a chocolate plate with a little bit of fruit”….

.____.

If this epidemic is as wide-spread as my anecdotal analysis is suggesting then we have a real problem on our hands. Understanding the concept of a facetious statement is what separates us from plants and animals. If we lose that, we lose our humanity.

Remember the classic rule of not being an uptight doof-wad in reaction to comedy on any level:

You don’t have to think it’s funny. but you do have to know it’s a joke.

Simple signs of whether a person is joking or not can be seen mostly in the incongruity of their statements + context clues on when and where they are made and who is making them.

The east coast knows it’s Sarcasm like no other and the West Coast where I am is where most comedy entertainment is written in the first place, but there seems to be growing evidence that the middle of this great country is fostering some kind of Humorless viral agent that could possibly spread into a monotone Zombie Apocalypse.

About 10 minutes ago, this just occured on Facebook, also by 3 St Louis’ans… (the context is a photograph of Person B)

selfcentered

Since I don’t want this plague to spread further, I will now provide an explanatory anecdote to any others in need of it.

I can’t believe I have to deconstruct the basic tenets that compose a joke, but here it goes…

TIMELINE:

-I make a comment on a photograph.

-Person A, who decided they didn’t want to be my friend anymore several years ago, said she misses me.

-I responded with my characteristic self aggrandizement that is literally my entire schtick (mainly satirizing people who think they’re more important than they are). You cannot have even met me once and not know this running gag in my personal commentary.
A person who is smart enough to understand a joke when they see one but has not commented on the thread Likes my comment.

-Person B doesn’t understand the joke/humor in general. Comments as if the premise of my joke is legit and I genuinely think a persons only access to hope, health & happiness is through contact with me.

-Pointing this out via another trend that is characteristic of literally my everyday behavior, I illustrate the absurdity in his comment, with absurdity of my own. Specifically: I feign innocent ignorance at being called “self centered” for making a joke at my expense which is literally poking fun at a “self centered” mindset, and pretend like I thought he was referring to Person A when it was obviously a nonsensical dig at me.
It’s called “illustrating absurdity by being absurd”… Specifically, I’m facetiously pointing out the bogus criticism by continuing the premise of the original joke.

-Person C comments on the picture and then also displays a total lack of comprehension of basic bullet points of having-a-sense-of-humor and says I’m someone she “wouldn’t ever miss”, then “laughs her ass off”.
Because social satire on a persons self-importance is not funny, but not missing someone – THAT’s just fknn hilarious…
Person B Like’s this comment.

-Person A goes Round 2 on not understanding the essence of humor and demands an explanation of my 2nd obvious-joke…
Person B & C Like this.

-Person A follows up 10 minutes later, after some thought on the subject, that I am being a jerk, but at least she had the good sense to do so with an actual joke. The easiest cliche first grade jab you can deliver to someone named Richard, but a joke none the less. Proving that she does at least understand some form of wordplay and jovial expression of an actual sentiment. This of course begs the question of why exactly she is able to understand the concept of saying “I think you are being jerky” in more playful terms, yet is unable to decipher me saying “I agree that I am a person worth missing” stated in more playful terms.

Then, as if I was conspiring with Person C on how to close this post on an exit-laugh (I wasn’t. this was a 100% organic gift), this happens:

Humor101
Which is doubly ironic since for the past business quarter I have literally been teaching Humor 101 (Comedic Scriptwriting, to be precise) to a class of writers and editors as we do screenplay processing and dialogue punch-up (where you add jokes and comedic layers to an existing work) for the falls production list. Oy vey…

Please be on the lookout for signs of this humor-killing plague in the midwest or elsewhere and report your findings to your local officials. It’s not too late to stop its spread if enough of us work hard enough.

Symptoms include:

-Unquestioning acceptance of a clearly absurd premise
-Distaste or outrage over silly comments
-Tendency to “laugh ones ass off” at their own statements that aren’t even jokes… not that aren’t “funny” (since we all know that claiming a joke isn’t funny because we may not individually find it so is just narcissism), but that literally aren’t even jokes by any metric including those of the speaker.

If we all do our part, we can preserve this world our forefathers fought so hard to keep from being taken so seriously at every inappropriate moment.

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