My analysis of a 6 year old girls coloring while waiting at the airport

If this 6 year old bitch in front of me doesnt start getting her shit together with this Disney Princess coloring book, im gonna flip out SamJackson-SnakesonaPlane style.


“No Apologies”

Oh, so Ariel is a brunette now? Ya, okay. Awesome. JK, you dumb whore. And dont play stupid either cuz I know that you know exactly what you’re doing and you dont even care. I HEARD you call her Ariel, so dont even play like you innocently mistook your subject for a Belle or a Princess Lea (she’s a Disney princess now, remember).

Why are you doing this?… I’m looking at your red crayons right in front of me. You have TWO shades of it for Christ sake. Who the hell do you think you are, anyway? You think coloring books are just there to create your own little world with? Well you’re fkkn wrong, skank. Wanna create a brunette princess? Its called DRAWING. Make up your own names and faces and make them look however you want if thats your game. But you’re not creative enough for that so you just buy a book with pre-existing characters with names and a history and you think you can just change all that with your poorly taken care of Crayola’s? Not on my watch.

It’s a shame too, cuz you obviously have talent. You’re coloring in the lines with exquisite form, yet you waste your talent on absurdist inaccuracy. You’re throwing your shot away at being in the coloring book hall of fame Olympics or whatever and for what? You think you’re making some deep political statement about reality or something? Well you’re wrong. and your naive rebellion against proper art is going to ruin your life. and you deserve it.

You could have been somebody, little girl. Now you’ll probably just grow up to be a whore.

The world has plenty of those. What the world needs are more artists.
And thus you’ve thrown away yo— actually, nevermind. She did a pretty boss job with the final product and I kinda dig the interpretation. Whatever. Rock on, this time, little one. but be careful with what you’re doing here. Because you’re playing with fire. and bitches like you always get burned in the end.

Remember that.

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