My mom is awesome

I never plan to stay in Texas long when I come here to visit, but I always do. And duh. Why the hell would I want to leave until I had to? California sucks. When I’m here I can get hella work done without distractions from idiots calling me trying to get me to go some lame club I’ve never heard of but they act like I should know about because they go there and they like it so they assume it’s some world famous hang out that you’d have to be retarded to not know every detail about and jump at the chance to attend its awesomeness and oh by the way I’m banging one of the bouncers so that’s even cooler and plus I can get us into one of the back rooms – blah blah blah – who cares.

At my parents house in Texas I have a giant ass bath tub, a slightly bigger bed, and less than a quarter of my wardrobe (which makes getting dressed a hellova lot easier cuz I only have like 5 choices in each category of shirts, sweaters, pants n shorts).

Plus. Duh. There’s my mom.
Last night for dinner I had left over steak. Filet Minion my dad  grilled  2 nights ago. Ew. At home I have to grill my own Costco steaks on my George Foreman. Eff that. Except Minion are tiny. And even with the green beans, potato and salad with a giant glass mug of cranberry/orange juice mix it wasn’t very filling.

So at around 10:00pm I voiced my hunger to my mom and ordered up some angel hair pasta and a grilled cheese. And she made it.

I took a bath and went to bed all… not hungry. Kinda weird. Cuz when I have to cook for myself I do the least possible and it seems like I’m always starving. Not here!

Then I had a dream my mom died. Something I’ve been halfway paranoid about for the last decade or so.  Cuz wouldn’t that just be so classic. The whole “oh, you think you know how stuff is gonna be? well Wham!” plot twist of life. And of course it would be my mom cuz then I’d be stuck with my dad who hates me which would make for awkward holidays and just yeeech. I woke up around 4 or 5AM thinking about it and was all pissed cuz I still thought it was real. The whole sadness thing, regret for not appreciating the time I had more, or hugging her more or blah blah blah – missing and thinking of the crappy future and all that. Then after an hour or two of in and out sleep limbo where I think the mom-is-dead dream continued into part 2, I slowly woke up again the same way and could hear ever so faintly the muffled sound of Fox & Friends from the living room and I was like, “dude. that was a dream. mom is in the other room watching tv already”. I briefly thought about springing out of bed and going to give her a hug and stuff. But I was tired. So I slipped back into sleep limbo for another hour. Then I got hungry.

So I got up and told my mom I wanted spaghetti and meat balls for breakfast.
And she made it.

I’m never going home….

Tags:

About richard