If, like me, you were sitting in Wheeler’s moms house in suburban Missouri, enjoying the comforts of actual clean linens, food and sanitary shelter as opposed to the St Louis townhouse/stickcabincraphole Wheeler himself calls home – you might be thinking your morning can’t get any better. Then Fox 2 local news drops this golden sunny-side-up egg on you and you forget why in the hell it was that you ever left this place to live in California.
The morning news show just did a segment on DVD’s newly released. One of them is Casablanca’s special edition (the one where whatshernose stays with Rick and then regrets it for the rest of her life. not that day. not the next. but soon, and for the rest of the movie). They talk about it a little bit and then come back to the 2 anchors: a male and a female. the male fondly recites the line “play it again Sam” from the movie. little do we know that we’re being set up for a comedy sneak attack. so he says it in that awkward smerky “guy who repeats a line from a movie you both just saw and has no follow up for it” way, but then he asks his coanchor….
Dude anchor: have you seen Casablanca?
Female: yes, many times
Dude anchor: many times? so you… “played it again”…
She cringed for a split second as if to say “i wish i was hot and blonde so i could be parrying the witty banter of Steve Doocy or Brian Kilmede on cable Fox News instead of being stuck on local Fox affiliates having to pretend shit like this is worth my time and effort” and then quickly composed herself as they went to commercial.
It was a glorious moment. One that I truly wish I… could play. again.
*please imagine “a kiss is just a kiss” being played on piano, going to a slow fade at about the end quarter of this blog*
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